ikea is burning my retinas

December 10, 2010

i hate ikea. when we moved to brooklyn almost a year ago, I made so many soul-sucking trips back and forth to that place that the workers recognized me.

in brooklyn.

a borough of over 2.5 million people. true story.

It is with no small bit of chagrin, then, that I find myself on the website tonight, looking for a bed for Andy and I upon our arrival in Ottawa. That part is nice–the having-my-own-bed part and the not-sharing-a-single-sized-mattress-with-another-human-being-anymore part–it’s just the knowledge that I’m going to inevitably have to put the damn thing together that really puts a damper on a consumer’s pleasure.

Oh, Ikea, you with your do-it-yourself labor intensive house stuff, how you mock me! You know I’ll inevitably buy the wrong sized slatted something or other, and I’ll have to go back and stand in the world’s longest return/exchange line, wishing I’d had the sense and foresight to get a sticky bun and coffee first but now it’s too late.

Ikea won’t be happy until it has my blood.

Oh, wait…. It already does. At furniture assembly time.


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One Response to “ikea is burning my retinas”

  1. Adela says:

    uRGH. That’s what happened to us. We were so excited my mom was going to get her own bed, finally, after years of having her sleep on the floor of our NYC apartment. We’re assembling the thing and it turns out we bought the wrong size mattress. And we don’t have a car to go back out to F*&&^! WA to get a new one. Mom was upgraded. She slept on an aerobed which was resting on the frame of the futon. At least she wasn’t on the floor.

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